Ouch, ouch, ouch. I feel achy in my heart. That sounds like a song. But I have been trying to get that achy out of my heart for more than a month, and it won't go away.

Damn that voice in my head. Make it go away. Damn love and feelings. I don't want to be sad about this. I know that what I want will never happen. But I cannot accept it just the same. I keep trying to ignore it, and it has worked for the most part, but then my guard goes down and it hurts, it aches. I can't talk about it. There is no release, except my tears and subconscious, which has taken to haunting me in the night with dreams that wake me up and make me cry, dreams that make me want to stay awake...

Everything keeps getting worse and better at the same time. I can't stand it. Good grief this was angsty.