Jive Talkin'

Yay! Exams are over! I can't wait until next semester. Guys, it's gonna be great! I am in such a good mood right now (in case ya couldn't tell!). Last night at Erika's, it was good fun. Things weren't so great at the beginning, cause David and I were pretty much ignoring each other and wouldn't look at each other, but then we had a really good talk and things are really good, better than they've been in a looong time. I can't even remember when we last talked like that. Us breaking up was definitely for the best; things are way better this way, as friends. I felt so much happier and relaxed when I was talking with him this time. Things are definitely a bit weird in some ways; I guess old habits are hard to break. I'm so relieved. I really wasn't looking forward to starting the semester with things like this. Or going to the Citadel club like this on the fourth. Anyways. So Katelyn, Lauren, Phil and I ended up sleeping over(shh...don't tell my parents! I kinda told them that only girls were sleeping over..heh heh..) and we watched Fight Club, good movie, but really weird, kind of creepy, but really well done. So we finished at exactly four, which was cool, cause that's what Phil wanted to stay up until. This morning, my dad picked me up and we went shopping, talked a bit which was good cause we've been kind of snitty with each other lately for some reason; probably because we were both a little bit stressed out. I think that we're good again. So I got some earphones and some cds...I found a Cat Stevens cd!! I've only ever been able to find the one that I already have, no matter where I look! And then I came home and found out that my parents used to have all of his records, doubles of some of them even, but then they GOT RID OF THE RECORD PLAYER AND THE RECORDS! Augh! Anyways...time for some calm. I hope that everyone has a great weekend relaxing before the start of the new semester! Ciao!

Feel It Turn

I had a dream I was moving forward
Floating gently to the sun
I've come to see my world rewarded
A new day has begun

Well. Today, was alright. Heard some interesting things about some people, teachers, whomever. Interesting stuff. French exam was alright, kind of hard, some of the text was pretty much impossible to decipher because of the font, or the photocopying, or whatever, but for the most part it was alright. It was really annoying having whoever that was in the gym screaming while we were trying to write. I would get all mad cause there would be kids screaming, and then I would have to remind myself that yes, I am writing an exam! C'mon, Shannon! Get with the program! ;) Had to stay until five-ish after school cause Kelsey had a b-ball practice, so I hung out with Jacqueline and Alex after school for awhile until they had to leave, and I hung out with Aster and Garnet, Jack and Alex and people in the caf until the end of school...didn't get as much done as I wanted to, but that's alright. Tried hanging out in O'Brien's room for awhile, but the vibes were definitely not good, I could tell that I was making David nervous or uncomfortable or something, so I left with Jacqueline and hung out in the cafeteria instead. I hate that. I wish that it wasn't still so awkward between us. Ah well. Can't have everything. Man, I am so looking forward to going and signing up with the military and going places with them. It's going to be great! I've been talking to the security guards down at the mall when they come to visit with us and they've been telling me about all sorts of things that they did while they were with the different military aspects(like the Navy and such) and it sounds like what that guy told me at the career fair thing actually is right. I can choose where I get posted; apparently they will not send you anywhere you don't want to go. And there's this thing up north were you live on Baffin Island and you do surveillance or something, and it pays super well, but it's bloody cold. I'm nervous about the Bio exam tomorrow, even though I know that I shouldn't be, cause technically it won't count for my final grade, but still. I guess I still have my pride. I don't think that I did very well on my math. But that doesn't matter either. Ah well. I guess I'd better go and finish my log book and study for bio. Good luck on the remainder of your exams, people! Ciao!

Sound of Silence

Did I mention already that this week has been really bad? Today wasn't all bad; I worked with Heather all day, and the new security guard came and chatted with me, same with the other one, which was fun. They're cool guys; ex-military and stuff, so I get to ask them about what to avoid (don't eat the macaroni and cheese!) and what it's like in the army(or the navy). Plus this other guy that always comes in to talk to me came in and I felt all special and stuff, he's so nice; plus, I haven't seen him in the longest time. A great guy. Asked me how I was doing, what my plans were, told me what he had been up to and stuff like that. I almost started crying a few times at work today, but it was better than it was yesterday. I saw Cora at Shoppers and she asked how David was, so I had to tell her that we had broken up the day before. I actually did start crying then. She looked disappointed and said that maybe we were too young, I think that I agreed, and then I went and found Vanessa and she cheered me up. Good fun. Then I went back to work and Stew, one of the security guards, entertained us (Lesley and I) with tales of his mispent youth. It was so funny!Although it does loose something in the telling. It made me feel so much better; I always knew laughter was the best medicine! Ah well. I keep getting this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, especially when I see him or his name shows up on MSN or even when I saw Cora today, because I know that I can't talk to him; I have to wait for him to initiate something, even then I wouldn't know what to say. Stupid, I know, but I can't help it. I hate this. I keep telling myself that it's better this way,that I'll be happier in the long run, and I feel better for awhile, and then it just hits me again. I know that I'm going to find someone that will be better for me at some point in the future, but right now, I just want him. No matter how bad he is for me. I just hope that I find someone very far in the future. I wonder if he's as miserable as I am right now? Who knows. I like my new format. It's purdy. It took me forever to get it right, and it still doesn't show when you go to the right address. Bet you it shows up tomorrow. I still haven't gotten around to putting in the comment system, so if anyone has a comment that they feel like sharing with me, then just e-mail me until I get that stupid thing set up. I think that I'd better go and study or something. Maybe I'll just leave the studying till tomorrow. I think that I need sleep more than I need to study. Ciao.

It's not all right

Something I Should Know
Great Big Sea

Am I leaving you tomorrow, I can't see
Is this how it's going to be?
In the morning must I go,
So let's take a little time, see what's on your mind
Is there something I should know ?
I thought we went through all this yesterday
You said you were OK, you just had to take it slow
I'm tired of these little games you play, are you here to stay
Is there something I should know?

Is there something I should know?
I think everything we've seen, it was just a dream
How did we get so low?
To leave it all behind would be obscene
Where's your self-esteem? Is there something I should know?

We can keep on talking, you know I've got all night
But don't keep telling me, that everything's all right...
it's not all right.

I'm leaving you tomorrow, can't you see
This is how it's got to be,
in the morning I must go...
So let's take a little time, see what's on your mind
Is there something I should know?

What a shitty week. I think I'm gonna go and sleep now. Ciao.

Something expected

Well, I'm sure that you've all heard by now; David and I have broken up. 'Tis the end of an era. I'm actually doing surprisingly well. I mean, as hard as I tried to deny it to myself, I was expecting this. I mean, it's hard not to expect something like this when you've been at someone's throat and they've been at yours for nearly (or more than) two months, depending on how you look at it. I thought that I would be more, I dunno, hysterical? No, maybe that's not the word. I feel pretty sad, mixed with relief (as horrible as that sounds, especially to me), and uncertainty. I really think that this was for the best. I'm going to miss his sisters though. They were so nice to me, especially Erin. My parents are being really supportive; they agree that it was for the best, and they both told me that they figured something like this would happen, because apparently something similar happened with two of Erin's friends, Taryn and James, they'd been going out since the middle of grade eight and they broke up about the same time as well. Plus the fact that we haven't been spending any time with each other since December, or talking on the phone, or anything. I know that I can count on my friends, so I think that this will be alright. A good change, gives me less to worry about I guess. I'm not going to miss how things have been the last month, month and a half, where everything was so uncertain, I didn't know where I stood, didn't know how I could act, what I could do to make things better, what to avoid. It drives a person crazy after awhile. Like I said, I'm surprised that I'm so calm. Not many tears...strange. Makes you think that it might be the calm before the storm. I'm really going to miss him, but like I said, this is for the best. But I'm worried about what will happen when we start dating other people. I mean, I think about being like I was with David with other people, and to be honest, it totally freaks me out. Same to the thoughts about him being like that with other girls. I don't think that I'll feel like that in a couple of months, but who knows? I just hope that I don't overestimate myself and start dating before I'm ready. That would be horrible. I hope that I can find someone who makes me happy, and I hope that David will find someone that will make him happy, because he deserves that. As do I. Anyways. Enough about that. First part of the bio diploma was today, I think that I did alright...maybe not on the last two questions of the short answer, but on the rest I knew what I was doing, it was actually pretty good. I hope that I won't have to take the course over again, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to; no way that my diploma mark will make up for my course mark. I kinda fell apart on that one. Took on too much at the beginning of the year, too many hours at work, probably shouldn't have done the whole stage managing thing, although I did have fun for some of it, but then again it probably contributed in the deterioration of my relationship with David. Ah well. Right now I'm really looking forward to next semester, especially for social and English. I'm not sure why. I know that I love social, I absolutely cannot wait for all of the French revolution, monarchy stuff, that stuff is super interesting. I guess I'm looking forward to English because although it's a lot of work, it's somehow satisfying to know that you've spend all that time and effort doing something like writing an essay, and it usually pays off. I know that when I hand in something that I've worked really hard on, I feel so proud of the work that I've done, just to know that those words and ideas came from inside of me, I dunno, strange feeling. That I can do it. For some reason, I'm looking forward to doing Physics again. I really don't know why. Why physics? I mean, it is just and ugly baby, right? But in some ways, it's oddly satisfying to solve a really hard equation. Also, I'm really excited about going into the army after med school (yes, I am going to get into med school! I am going to become a doctor! Come on people, positive thinking ;) !). I mean, how many chances do you get to see things from that perspective, to travel the world like that? Anyways, I think that I'm avoiding studying by posting. Man, I'd better go now. Lost almost twenty minutes of precious studying time. Hope you peeps all enjoyed avoiding studying by reading my loooong post! Ciao!

I'm a rover

Sometimes I just look at myself and shake my head. Why do you do the things that you do, Shannon? Ah well. Today was alright, finally finished french sonnet stuff (did I mention that I hate writing poetry, especially in French?) Math was good, mainly cause we were doing stuff that I learned in CALM already, personal finance stuff. Stupid kids after school running around in the hallway while I was trying to study, screaming until Larry told them to bugger off, thank goodness. Scared about diploma. I know that I'm almost certain that I'll have to take the course over again, therefore I will also have to take the diploma again anyhow, but it still scares me. I am such a loser. Waited for an hour online to talk to someone, hoping that miraculously they'll get my thought waves and show up and I'll finally get to talk to them again, but now I have to go and sleep, so I guess it was all for nothing. Can't believe that I actually did that. Guess that's dedication for ya. Good luck on exams everyone, especially to those writing Chem tomorrow and Bio on Thursday! Ciao!

Goin' Up

My oh my. What a weekend this has been. Friday, cool party at Erika's. Se7en is the scariest and most disturbing movie that I have seen. Lately, anyways. Saturday, got home, accidentally blabbed to my mom that it was a co-ed sleepover(heh heh, was that me?) but didn't really get into shit for it, just said that next time she'll pick me up, cause it "isn't proper". David got mad at me for same reason, plus he didn't know that I was going anywhere Friday, and because he didn't know that there was going to be alcohol. So that made me feel wonderful, accounting for a sickened feeling in the pit of my stomach for Friday and most of Saturday. Anyways, got home, and was confronted by my parents, who had a talk with me about my marks, and informed me that I was quitting work, but then my dad had pity on me and said that if I could work it so that I was only working a Saturday or a Sunday a week, then I could keep working. So I was nervous all weekend waiting for tonight so that I could either quit or get fewer hours. Luckily, that worked out well; she said that she didn't want to lose me so she agreed to the Saturday or Sunday deal. So good. But the one girl that I like working with, who's actually fun to work with, is leaving two weeks from Saturday. Boo. Things with David are not really going well. I finally told my mom what was going on on the way back from soccer; kind of embarrassing, hate it when I cry in front of her. But she knows all. She figures same as me, cause we haven't seen each other for awhile outside of school, and we never talk at school because of our agreement, that's why we're all snide with each other. It still supremely sucks. Why can't words ever do justice to human sentiments? Or explanations about feelings? Life would be so much simpler if they could. Anyways. I have to go and sleep, cause as Dunkley said, sleep is very important, especially when you're about to write a bio diploma! So rest up! And eat well! Go dunkster! Ciao!

A taste of hunny

Wow. I got a package in the mail on Tuesday from the Forum people. I was so nervous to open it. But I GOT ACCEPTED! Yay! I am SO excited! Especially since I've found out since that I'm done my fundraising for the trip, and I even have some spending money with this. Awesome. I think that I'm the only one from the school that's going during this session, but it'll be great anyways, cause I'm sure everyone else is the only one coming from their school, maybe even their town. Plus I get to go and hang out in Ottawa for a week and look like a crazy tourist again, but this time I'll have money for souvenirs! Yay! This thing sounds so awesome, with getting to meet senators, getting to meet my dumbass MP so that I can kick his ass, and there's like a good bye dance thing too! Hee hee! Good fun!

So anyways, I worked yesterday and today with Lesley, good fun. Heard all of the new gossip, apparently if my manager goes then so will my assistant manager, and Lesley is leaving soon too, so I might be stuck with just Sandra and Erin for company. Sandra is pretty nice, and Erin can be nice, but sometimes she's just really annoying and she just won't stop talking. Grr. Anyways. So apparently, this guy came into our store a couple of days ago, dragging his kid by the ear, and says to the kid "I think that you have something to say to them." The kid was in tears, and he held out his hand, and lo and behold, there are probably 10 watch batteries in his hands. Meanwhile, my boss, co-worker and the security guard are trying not to laugh. Apparently the kid's brother put him up to it. Watch batteries, of all things. Good grief. Ugh, bad day at school. Not a good bio class at all. Well, the class itself wasn't bad, but just the idea of getting my final mark at the end of class was freaking me out. So I took the chicken's way out and never got my mark. Meh. I'll find out sooner or later anyways, right? Well, time to go and sleep; maybe I'll actually study or something. Ciao!

Yay!

Wow. Ok, my soccer team, we've only won one game. We lost the rest, except for two that we tied. AND WE WON TODAY! 8-6! Yay! I knew that we could do it! I feel so happy and excited. Especially after counting all weekend. Inventory is not an exciting experience. Ah well. It's over now. Anyways. So, recap, my team doesn't totally suck (YAY!) and counting gets mind-numbing after awhile. Ciao!

Why am I so immature?

No, really. I'm asking. I want an answer. Why am I so immature? Why do I feel so hurt? Why do I feel so neglected, like I'm always being brushed aside, because someone else's problems are more important, more pertinent? Why am I always second, but am fooled later into thinking that I was first, because I stop thinking that actions actually do speak louder than words? Why do I feel like I need, want, more? And why do I fool myself into thinking that I'm getting more? Ugh. This isn't going to help me with my studying. Ciao.

Inspiration

"Whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, … and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith." Mark 11:23

"Therefore I say unto you, Whatsoever things you desire, when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them." Mark 11:24

How frustrated am I really?

Your sign of frustration is....Ignoring! Instead
of dealing with problems, you ignore them.
Your theory to problems, is that if I pretend
they are not there, they'll disappear.
Sometimes this method can work, but most of the
time it doesn't. For a variety sometime, try
using one of the other methods, which are
discussed in this quiz. It might feel good!


What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Odd. I thought that I was more of a yelling type frustrated person. Ah well, can't have everything I suppose. Mind you, I do avoid my problems. Like. The. Plague. I should really work on that. Maybe then I wouldn't have so many troubles. Something to think about anyways.


you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Today was a sucky day. Sucky bio test, which, although some people don't seem to believe that I did poorly on, I actually did. Wow, Shannon actually did badly on something. Call the press. News flash, I do poorly on many things. I just choose not to share them with everyone. For some strange reason. That and I feel like typing sentence fragments. Why the hell not? Thought that everything was going alright with David, turns out everything is back to how it was before Christmas break. That just makes me so happy. I honestly think that it's something at school, that and my attitude. Bah. I mean, we had a pretty good two weeks, relationship wise, and then we get back to school and three days after coming back, things are horrid again. We can't seem to just open up and be honest with each other, and I can't believe how I'm treating him. It's like I subconsciously blame him for not being able to talk to him or spend time with him at school. I mean, we agreed, both of us, that this would be for the best. So what the hell is going on? I think that a big problem is that we're both kind of stressed, especially him, and we are both lacking in sleep, again, especially David. I really want to figure this thing out. I need to have a stable relationship again. This is eating me up inside like you wouldn't believe. Well, this has made me feel a little better, listening to more Great Big Sea at top volume and studying will probably take care of a bit more, for some reason. I love Great Big Sea. Their music is so great. Funny how I didn't really notice until I got a couple of their CDs for Christmas. Ah well. Tah, all.