Somedays

Let It Go
Great Big Sea
(written by Doyle/Sampson/Daly)

Hey man, you don't know what you're missing
You count your curses and forget about the blessings
Don't you think you should learn a little lesson
What are you waiting for?

Hey man, what makes you so special
Can't seem to find the angels for the devils
Don't you think that if you learned to love a little
You'd live a whole lot more

Chorus
Let it Go Let it Go
This is smaller than you know
No bigger than a pebble lying on a gravel road
Let it Go Let it Go
Got to leave it all behind you
Give the sun a chance to find you
Let it Go

Lift you head, there's no time for crying
You made your bed but don't think its fit to lie in
Wasted on the ground when you know you should be flying
What are you waiting for?

Bridge
How can a man not see
It seems so clear to me
You've just got to live and learn
Smile at the simple stuff
This road ain't long enough
To miss a single turn


So today is Ash Wednesday. I have the ashes on my forehead, my stomach is aching with hunger, but I'm not sure what I want to fast from for Lent. I feasted on patience tonight; that's something I guess. I almost lost my temper but I caught it. I'm not sure how right now, but I think that I did the right thing. I'm trying to fast from having a negative attitude, but that's hard when I'm hungry and tired...I think that I'll start that tomorrow. I hate how when I was in the mall this afternoon checking out my hours people were staring at my forehead like I was some kind of freak. Even my coworkers looked at me a little funny. I guess it's because they don't understand the Catholic faith. I am still a bit bothered by it though. Like when I had my head shaved, having all those people stare at me when I was walking around somewhere, even when I was standing ringing in people's purchases. Why do people stare at things like that? Are those things so unusual? Ah well. People are people. Nothing can be done about that.

Shines Right Through Me
Great Big Sea
(written by McCann/Mahoney/Doyle)

These days I feel a change, All the patterns rearranged
Though I can't explain, I know I’m not afraid
Now I realize all good things can be supplied
And they come from you

Chorus
It's all brand new, and it shines right through
Shines Right Through Me
I look at you and you, and it shines right through
Shines Right Through Me

This feeling that I've found, like sleeping on a cloud
Smiling at the sky, Not even knowing why
Strange how things work out, I know without a doubt
That it comes from you

Break me out of emptiness, Lead me to your light
Anything worth having is worth some sacrifice
Laid too long in lonliness, This world was made to change
Half an hour of sunshine is worth a week of rain

Air is flowing free, it's a little easier to breathe
This soul unbound, was lost and found
No reason left to hide, I feel a light inside and it comes from you

I know that this post is really long. I just feel like I have so much to say but I can't get it out in a way that would be...innapropriate? Anyways, it's easier to say it through lyrics. I think it's because it's less personal, but in a way it's more personal than just writing down thoughts and feelings...who knows why. Why can't people just let go of the past? Why is it always so important to return the hate and pain to the person who caused it instead of just letting it go? All it does is cause more hurt and more hate. I am so very confused right now. And tired. I should go to bed. Just one last thing; if anyone has tips on how to get parents to agree to body piercings(namely an eyebrow piercing) could you let me know? I would really appreciate it, cause at this rate I'm not going to be able to get it done till I'm eighteen, and that's almost nine months from now. Have a great looong weekend everyone! Ciao!

Something Beautiful!

The new Great Big Sea cd came out today and I'm listening to it right now! It's so AWESOME! I am so excited to hear the whole thing! That's all I have to say. Ciao!

Finally, a win!

Yay! So I went to my soccer game today with my grandparents, and we ended up having nine players, but we still won 5-3! Even without our goalie and all those players who were being dumb and didn't come! Yay! Plus, Ricardo and Odell were reffing, so we actually had good refs for once(even if they did tease me, and Ricardo called me on boarding or something which I totally didn't do...ah well) and Spencer was in the box as well, so it was all fun! Yay! Then, after the game my grandparents took me out for yummy Chinese food. It was kool. I can't even remember the last time that they've been to one of my soccer games. Totally cool of them to come, and it was nice of my team not to lose too! Anyways, weekend was kind of boring, lots of English work and such...Had to work today, found someone's coat on the ground in menswear and the tags from another coat right beside it...People are dumb. Anyways. So picarts is gonna be totally fun, right guys? Asterix is the best movie in the world!!! Can ya tell that I'm excited?? Anyways, time to go to bed. I hope that everyone's weekend was awesome! Ciao!

Hoo-ray!

I am so glad that this week, this school day is over. It has been such a looong week, seemed to drag on forever. Same with this afternoon. Don't know why. Ah well. I think that I've finally started to get over David. This is really, really good news. I can move on with my life. I feel so relieved, cause before no matter what I did I just couldn't stop thinking about him and our relationship and what I could have done better, and how I felt like I would flip out if he started dating. But now, I've accepted that it happened and I don't think that I would flip out if he started dating, I think I would hope that whoever the girl is they will make him happier than I did. Oh, for all you Great Big Sea fans out there (come'on, I must not be the only one!) their new cd, "Something Beautiful" comes out on Tuesday! Yay! I'm so excited!Check out their site too! It's pretty neat. Well, I've gotta go. I've got a date (hee hee) with my brother! He's gonna (kinda) buy me supper! Well, actually, he just has a bunch of Subway cards filled up and is letting me use one. But that's ok! It's the thought that counts, right guys? Guys? I hope everyone has a great weekend! See y'all at picarts on monday (watching Asterix of course! I'm so psyched!)!! Ciao!

I am a rock
Paul Simon

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
Well, I've heard the word before.
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries

Jolly Roving Tar

Sparrow
Paul Simon

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree,
"I won't share my branches with
no sparrow's nest,
And my blanket of leaves won't warm
her cold breast."

Who will love a little Sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan,
"The entire idea is utterly absurd,
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the
other Swans heard."

Who will take pity in his heart,
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat,
"I would if I could but I cannot I know,
I need all my grain to prosper and grow."

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth,
"For all I've created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be."

Had to work all weekend;thought that I only had to work Saturday. I guess that since tomorrow is family day, my boss thought that it was alright. Ah well. So apparently I'm allowed to sell tobacco. According to some shmoe from head office, anyone under nineteen can sell it. Well then. I wish that I could refuse to sell it on moral grounds, but like my dad was saying you can't pick and choose. Like he has to protect abortion clinics when they're being threatened, even though he's totally against abortion. Oh well. I actually had a good time working though, cause I was working with Dorothy and she was in a good mood. Brad and Stewart came around and talked to us a bunch, so that made it go by alright...tonight my parents picked me up from work and we went out for supper, just the three of us. It was fun. I don't think that we've ever gone out just the three of us like that. So now I'm stuffed and sleepy, but thought that I might as well post cause I'm gonna be doing homework all day tomorrow. Hmm...what else...Oh, right. My brother invited me to this cartoon thingy that took place yesterday, like a week ago. So I got home and was expecting to go with him, but he was already gone. So i was a little pissed. Apparently it was earlier than he initially thought, but he didn't remember/didn't bother to tell me. So when he got home my dad gave him shit, which I didn't think was deserved, but I would have appreciated an apology from John all the same, but since my dad yelled at him and he thinks that he didn't deserve it, he won't apologise because it's proving my dad right. Confusing, ain't it? I didn't really enjoy valentine's day this year; I'm sure that it's no surprise to anyone. I couldn't stop thinking about David, and I kept trying to stop myself, but it didn't work, so I just occupied myself. It wasn't bad at work, except when Brad was asking me if I got anything for valentines...but then he did offer his services as a henchman(heh heh) cause he figured that even though we've broken up david should get me something anyways. Funny guy. Oh, and another thing that was not good at all. I had to miss my soccer game today because of work. Which sucks ass because we only have two left. This new girl from work got beaten up on her way home last week, and as a result didn't show for her shift. So she's quit. And I'm scared to walk home now. Not cool. Well, I'm tired. Hope that everyone had a great Valentine's day and an even greater weekend! Ciao.

I'm so full of holes...

So I finally got some more holes in my ears, right beside the second ones. Yay! I'm so glad that I didn't chicken out like I thought I would. Didn't hurt as much as the second ones, and only one of them kind of stings right now. Overall after school was good...got to hang out with my mom for about an hour and a half, talked about what's going on at school and stuff. It was cool. Plus, I got a cinnamon bun! Mmm... Which made up for the crappy school day I had, classes-wise; well, more like chem-wise. I was totally unprepared for that quiz...that is the last time I leave an english essay to the last minute; that's why I didn't get enough study time. Oh well, I know for next time. Things have been getting a lot better. I feel so relieved. Things are at a new norm for me, but it's a good new normal, for the most part. I don't think that I'm ever going to stop missing the good things about David's and my relationship, or him for that matter, but I know that it being over is for the better, and I know that I'm happier this way too; he seems to be as well. So in the end it's all good. Ciao!

I don't know...

"If man/woman are not created equal-why do people try to achieve equality?" Good question, D. I have been thinking about that question all day, and I can't seem to think of anything that makes sense in the human/ emotional point of view, or anyting that I can back up using that short story or 1984. I've tried looking at equality websites for inspiration, but all that did was muddle me further. I think that I may just leave this one to the last minute tomorrow. Maybe I'll think up something tomorrow during school. Well, off to do some Chem. Ciao.

Aie.

What a crappy week. The play on Wednesday was really good, but sitting there was crappy, sat next to David, not sure how that worked out that way, and he was really pissy towards me, that kind of ruined it for me...I know I shouldn't let one person ruin something like that, but it's so hard. I mean, we go from being so close, we had something so special, and now we can't even sit next to each other without it being awkward. Ugh, I must be pms-ing or something. I hate being like this, say the littlest thing and I dissolve. I hope that everyone has a great first weekend of the second semester of school!Ciao.

What revolution are You?
Made by altern_active

Why don't you love her?

How did we get from saying 'I love you'...
Great Big Sea

"It's a cold day for September", was all I thought to say
When I saw you on the street the other day
I knew something changed between us, all the talk we made was small
But what do you say to someone when they've heard you say it all?
It's an awkward conversation, in a most peculiar way...

How did we get from saying "I love you" to "I'll see you around
someday?"
It seemed like only days ago, we had so much to say
Did we take it all for granted?, did it all gets thrown away?
"It calls for rain this afternoon", she finally replied
Then there was such a stuttering silence, that I felt my mouth go dry
We'll talk about the weather, cause there's not much more to say...

Has all the ice been broken,
All our surfaces been scratched
Have all the words been spoken,
Have we finally met our match?
Cause its an awkward conversation,
In a most peculiar way

I love how songs can sometimes explain what I'm feeling so much better than I could ever say it.

I have butterflies in my stomach. Not cool. It feels like bad, nervous butterflies. I'm hoping that it won't be anything bad that's going to happen, can't think of anything anyhow. Well, I'd better go and do some social. Ciao.