Why am I so immature?

No, really. I'm asking. I want an answer. Why am I so immature? Why do I feel so hurt? Why do I feel so neglected, like I'm always being brushed aside, because someone else's problems are more important, more pertinent? Why am I always second, but am fooled later into thinking that I was first, because I stop thinking that actions actually do speak louder than words? Why do I feel like I need, want, more? And why do I fool myself into thinking that I'm getting more? Ugh. This isn't going to help me with my studying. Ciao.