Something expected

Well, I'm sure that you've all heard by now; David and I have broken up. 'Tis the end of an era. I'm actually doing surprisingly well. I mean, as hard as I tried to deny it to myself, I was expecting this. I mean, it's hard not to expect something like this when you've been at someone's throat and they've been at yours for nearly (or more than) two months, depending on how you look at it. I thought that I would be more, I dunno, hysterical? No, maybe that's not the word. I feel pretty sad, mixed with relief (as horrible as that sounds, especially to me), and uncertainty. I really think that this was for the best. I'm going to miss his sisters though. They were so nice to me, especially Erin. My parents are being really supportive; they agree that it was for the best, and they both told me that they figured something like this would happen, because apparently something similar happened with two of Erin's friends, Taryn and James, they'd been going out since the middle of grade eight and they broke up about the same time as well. Plus the fact that we haven't been spending any time with each other since December, or talking on the phone, or anything. I know that I can count on my friends, so I think that this will be alright. A good change, gives me less to worry about I guess. I'm not going to miss how things have been the last month, month and a half, where everything was so uncertain, I didn't know where I stood, didn't know how I could act, what I could do to make things better, what to avoid. It drives a person crazy after awhile. Like I said, I'm surprised that I'm so calm. Not many tears...strange. Makes you think that it might be the calm before the storm. I'm really going to miss him, but like I said, this is for the best. But I'm worried about what will happen when we start dating other people. I mean, I think about being like I was with David with other people, and to be honest, it totally freaks me out. Same to the thoughts about him being like that with other girls. I don't think that I'll feel like that in a couple of months, but who knows? I just hope that I don't overestimate myself and start dating before I'm ready. That would be horrible. I hope that I can find someone who makes me happy, and I hope that David will find someone that will make him happy, because he deserves that. As do I. Anyways. Enough about that. First part of the bio diploma was today, I think that I did alright...maybe not on the last two questions of the short answer, but on the rest I knew what I was doing, it was actually pretty good. I hope that I won't have to take the course over again, but I'm pretty sure that I'm going to; no way that my diploma mark will make up for my course mark. I kinda fell apart on that one. Took on too much at the beginning of the year, too many hours at work, probably shouldn't have done the whole stage managing thing, although I did have fun for some of it, but then again it probably contributed in the deterioration of my relationship with David. Ah well. Right now I'm really looking forward to next semester, especially for social and English. I'm not sure why. I know that I love social, I absolutely cannot wait for all of the French revolution, monarchy stuff, that stuff is super interesting. I guess I'm looking forward to English because although it's a lot of work, it's somehow satisfying to know that you've spend all that time and effort doing something like writing an essay, and it usually pays off. I know that when I hand in something that I've worked really hard on, I feel so proud of the work that I've done, just to know that those words and ideas came from inside of me, I dunno, strange feeling. That I can do it. For some reason, I'm looking forward to doing Physics again. I really don't know why. Why physics? I mean, it is just and ugly baby, right? But in some ways, it's oddly satisfying to solve a really hard equation. Also, I'm really excited about going into the army after med school (yes, I am going to get into med school! I am going to become a doctor! Come on people, positive thinking ;) !). I mean, how many chances do you get to see things from that perspective, to travel the world like that? Anyways, I think that I'm avoiding studying by posting. Man, I'd better go now. Lost almost twenty minutes of precious studying time. Hope you peeps all enjoyed avoiding studying by reading my loooong post! Ciao!